It can be difficult to maintain family relationships, all our strong bonds have to start off from somewhere. This paper will explore how verbal skills and self-awareness can improve and promote a healthy relationship and establish proper communication. By applying self-awareness techniques and verbal skills I have learned through research and my interpersonal communication class. I will reflect on my progressive interactions with my brother to demonstrate how I have improved from my baseline interactions. Furthermore, I will apply what I have learned from my improvements within my relationship and see how my communication with my brother in the future will be influenced.
Personal Relationship Summary
For this semester, the person I chose to improve my communication skills is my younger brother, Abner. Normally, I just call him by his name or “bro” for short. I have four younger brothers, Abner, is the second oldest and of course I am the oldest of them all, Esdras. I am looking forward to being a better communicator with my bro, although we are already very close, I believe there is still room to have a better understanding between us. I believe communication is key to a better relationship with anyone. Some challenges me and my brother have is, like any normal siblings, argue over something. We end up in conflict and sometimes we try to prove who is right and superior. I know we are all equals but still I find it funny how we fight to be the one on top as the winner. Another problem we have is we don’t have the same thoughts, like all human beings, we each have our own individuality and sometimes my brother makes assumptions of what I will do. For example, there was this time where he called me out and I wasn’t in the mood of doing it so I ignored him, which I think put him in an uncomfortable position. I would definitely like to learn verbal skills and have an amazing amount of self-awareness. I chose this communication skill and competency because to begin with I am really horrible at expressing myself through verbal words. Self-awareness, I strongly believe that in order to enhance our experience with others, we must first help to solve our own issues first. Help yourself first before you can aid others. Through self-reflection, you would be surprised at how one can change in many ways. To top it off, having verbal skills is also a requirement because we are surrounded by many people and will always meet new people in the future. In this world where society brings us together to help build a better community it is essential that we obtain verbal skills. Which will help me achieve my goal of being a better communicator. By the end of this assignment and time span of a semester, I hope to have a stronger bond with my brother, Abner. Not just me but I would also like for my bro to become a better person. My goal is to give him an exemplary good role model as an older brother for him to follow in my footsteps if he would like to. I want to open up an alternative righteous path to all my brothers and give them an opportunity to become the best people I know they can be. In conclusion, my interpersonal communication class is a huge plus that will allow me to exceed myself and will also improve my future in my studies of computer science. Since I am aiming for a Master’s degree in computer science which usually involves talking to people one on one, I am blessed to have this class with great teachers who have amazing experience in teaching. My goal is to be the best of the best.
My investigation is on verbal skills, I was able to comprehend the enormous impression it can leave during a conversation. To learn how to effectively put into use these verbal skills, I first had to identify the tips and tricks of a strong verbal communicator. Brooks (2011) explains how us as human beings are able to talk about material things with ease, but we are really bad at talking about emotions or character. That is why many people have trouble interacting with others. We have the concepts of ancient morality: virtue, honor, and goodness but we don’t have a system on how to combine them. This combination helps us in our human endeavors, we are able to verbally excel (Brooks, 2011). The first insight shows that the unconscious mind does most of the work and the conscious mind only puts a small portion of it to work (Brooks, 2011). I figured out that when I try to verbally communicate, I can only recall a certain amount of information which proves to be disadvantageous. Brooks (2011) explains how emotions are at the center of our thinking process, and we decide what we want to value. Verbal skills with positive emotions are excellent but negative emotions require you to be rude, which means you want to avoid being afraid or blinded by jealousy. You can refer to Krauss (2002) for more further in-depth information on verbal skills.
Eurich (2017) research focuses specifically on self-awareness and the effects it can have in a relationship such as being a good communicator, increase in confidence, and having a more fulfilled life. This is in congruent with Brooks’s (2011) speech and builds upon verbal skills, both would bring a huge improvement to any relationship. While there are a large number of factors that go into interpersonal communications, all of them are of great help because we learn how to act and what not to do. Although you may not notice it, every detail plays a big part in your life. In order to be proficient in communicating, you must first know yourself. By identifying the problems within yourself and reflecting on how to be better (Eurich, 2017), strive to be an individual who is enlightened socially (Brooks, 2011). The chances of forming a deeper bond will increase not just within you but with others as well.
What is considered to be truly self-aware, ultimately depends on yourself and one other person to confirm that you are self-aware. Eurich (2017) explains how many of us are introspecting wrong, which is why many of us are not self-aware. However, Brooks (2011) explains how emotions are the foundation of reason, because reason tells us what value. This approach promotes a better understanding that is beneficial to both members in a relationship. Depending on the bond you want to establish in a relationship, I believe it is of vital importance to have verbal skills and be self-aware. By judging how much you want to befriend someone, you can decide if you either want to talk about what you mean and get to the point or take some time off meditating upon yourself to understand yourself better.
Depression and stress accumulates the more you do introspection on yourself (Eurich, 2017). “Introspection may be depressing but it’s worth it because of the insight it produces” (Eurich, 2017). This reflection on oneself is what is known as self-awareness. My investigation not only led me to believe that I would have personal growth but it will also improve my relationships with others, it will also give me a new perspective. Psychologist Eurich emphasizes that “thinking about ourselves isn’t related to knowing ourselves” (Eurich, 2017, 7:39). Asking the question “what?” leads us to the truth about ourselves. This self-awareness will open many doors for me and enhance my bond with my brother, Abner, and develop more memorable moments. Self-awareness is a huge topic and has many points we can expand on (Davis, 2019).
By improving my sense of self and others, I can develop a more efficient way of polishing my skills. I sought out to surpass our current healthy interactions and be cool with each other to the point where we can read each other’s mind. Some communication changes I will implement is being concise with my wording, organizing my thoughts beforehand, and getting straight to the point.. To do this, I will meditate once a day and try to find an opportunity to talk with Abner daily. This will eventually develop a more tight bond brotherhood style. This will increase our lifestyle more with a sense of satisfaction. If by any chance our bond stays neutral, then I will take action to do some fun activities with him. As a last resort, I will tell him my goals of becoming better brothers and hopefully he agrees. We do not learn from experience, we learn from reflecting on experience.
Throughout my interpersonal communication class, I have learned to have better verbal skills and improve my self-awareness. The relationship I have with my brother has turned for the best. My first progression log was at the dinner table when we were both eating together. Keep in mind that most of my progression logs take place in my house. It was silent for some time so I started the conversation and asked him, “How was school?” He told me what he did at school and how fun it is to spend time with his friends. Abner’s in the Anime Club and loves watching Naruto. In my part, I told him that so far I’m keeping up with my classes and for my next project I am going to talk about the relationship between him and me. The talk went smoothly because I spoke to him with clarity. Abner was chill and agreed to be my partner for my project. We had a great talk overall and I think it’s thanks to improving on my verbal skills. This project has impacted me overall, because I feel that my talks are now more clearly understood by everyone in my social life.
As for my communication competency, self-awareness was an easier voyage for me. Again it was just my brother and me but this time the setting was at our church. My family is very religious and I also consider myself religious. Self-awareness has allowed me to further my dedication in my religion. After church, Abner and I go outside and sit down on the benches to talk. We do this almost everyday so it has become a routine to sit down and have a chat. I always look forward to talking to him so the night before I was thinking of what I wanted to talk to him about. At the same time there was a huge update on my favorite mobile game, Clash Royale, and that became the topic I wanted to talk to him about. This was meaningful to me because every night before I go to sleep, I stare at the ceiling and have time to meditate. It has become a good habit which allows me to organize my thoughts. Being self-aware of oneself has made me a better person that allows me to see my wants and dislikes clearly in my mind.
For my last progressive log, I wanted to upgrade my verbal skills. Personally, I think I lack this area of expertise. I liked to work on my weaknesses and shape them into my strengths. This time I was with both my brothers Abner and Eliezer in my room. Although my other was present too, I did most of the talking with Abner. You all have probably heard about COVID-19, we are all in quarantine and really bored. What better way is there to kill time than the classic board games like Monopoly? Since Abner and me are the oldest brothers, we are the ones who have to explain the rules to everyone. Any sort of game can get heated up about winning and losing. I talked to Abner about being friendly and to have fun. During the game, you sometimes got to bluff so with my verbal skills, I learned to think before I speak. Abner is really smart so it becomes difficult to trick him. I think I am getting through because I love playing cards and when you play you can win more easily with a poker face. Bluffing is like a poker face except with words.
In conclusion, this project has been a huge help with both my communication skills and competency. My verbal skills such as having a clear voice and having a happy tone has improved my relationship with Abner. He is now more friendly with me just like I am with him. In a way, I am also learning to “do unto others like you want them to do to you.” My communication competency, self-awareness, had the greatest impact on me. Self-awareness allowed me to be me, and in being me I was able to address Abner more like my blood brother. I now understand that in a conversation, it is not always about the other person but also yourself. “When you know yourself, you are empowered. When you accept yourself, you are invisible.” This truly has been a journey, for me it was a wonderful experience to learn interpersonal communication.
Brooks, D. [ted.com] (2011, March). The social animal | David Brooks | TED2011 [Video File]. Retrieved from https://www.ted.com/talks/david_brooks_the_social_animal Columnist David Brooks unpacks new insights into human nature from the cognitive sciences — insights with massive implications for economics and politics as well as our own self-knowledge. In a talk full of humor, he shows how you can’t hope to understand humans as separate individuals making choices based on their conscious awareness.
This source provided me a valuable lesson in how verbal skills are learned through interactions. Using this Ted Talk, I have come to understand the importance it is to have a good connection with our parents in order to improve our relationship with others. Ted talks always have a purpose to give us more knowledge on an idea or actions.
Davis, T. (March 11, 2019). What Is Self-Awareness, and How Do You Get It?, Self-awareness involves monitoring our stress, thoughts, emotions, and beliefs. It is important, because it’s a major mechanism influencing personal development.
This article gives lots of information and helpful tips for self-awareness. It tells you the proper way to be enlightened, in a sense. Currency of this article means that it is a recent study and it is better to have news that is present in our 21st century. Reading something that is updated is beneficial to us because it is a way to prove the information is still useful.
Eurich, T. [ted.com] (2017, November). Increase your self-awareness with one simple fix | Tasha Eurich | TEDxMileHigh [Video File]. Retrieved from https://www.ted.com/talks/tasha_eurich_increase_your_self_awareness_with_one_simple_fix We would all like to believe we’re self-aware, but in reality, the facts point to a more sobering truth. Organizational psychologist Tasha Eurich has spent the last 4 years researching what it truly means to be self-aware, and in the process, has made a surprising discovery about human perception. In this illuminating talk, Eurich dissects common misbeliefs about introspective thinking and provides a simple way we can get to know ourselves just a little bit better.
This source allowed me to identify my own confidence in my false self-awareness. Using this Ted Talk, I now know that it isn’t about asking “why?” instead ask “what?” which will ultimately help me be aware of myself. Accuracy is validated here because Ms. Eurich is a psychologist, the scientific of the human mind and its functions.
Krauss, R. M. (2002). The psychology of verbal communication, Columbia University Communication occurs when signals carry information-bearing messages between a source (or sender) and a destination (or receiver). Although all species communicate, human communication is notable for its precision and flexibility, a consequence of the uniquely human ability to use language. This article focuses on how verbal skills give meaning to our messages. Our messages can be unclear or unheard if we don’t use verbal skills properly. Relevance because one of my topics is about verbal skills and this explains the psychology behind it. This is a great help for my studies, and provides more information for my project.